Short Answers / The Department of Yuck

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

THE DEPARTMENT OF YUCK

Dear Short Answers:
My husband probably has the most disgusting habit I’ve ever seen but there is nothing I can do to stop him. Frank has a great deal of nose and ear hair and he is constantly “plucking” it out even in public.  I’ve begged him to do this ONLY in the privacy of his bathroom but he tells that it’s no different than combing your hair or putting on lipstick in public.  I disagree but I am getting NOWHERE!!  How do I make him stop?
The Mrs.

Dear Mrs:
For us, this would be a deal breaker. Disgusting. If you are not ready to leave him, then leave the table, the restaurant or the room whenever he goes at it.

 

SHUDDUP AND LISTEN
Dear Short Answers:
What is the best way to engage in a conversation with a woman you like?
JAM
Dear JAM:
The best way to engage a woman in conversation is to ask her intelligent, open-ended questions about her life. “Tell me about your job…”  “Tell me about your family…”  “Tell me about the best vacation you ever had…”  You get the idea.  Most women are smart enough to pause for breath.  And if you have been listening, you will know what to stay next.

MINDING HIS BUSINESS
Dear Short Answers:
A friend of mine is about to make a fool of himself by pursuing a much younger woman. Should I try to save him?
Embarrassed
Dear Embarrassed:
It’s his party — you have no role in this unless your advice is solicited.  Stand at the ready — either for celebration or comfort.

MUTTON DRESSED AS LAMB

Dear Short Answers:
I am an aging fashionista.  I still wear skinny jeans and frankly anything else that appeals to me. I hate the ‘goddess’ look — or anything else that suggests that you no longer care. At least  not for me. I realize that I may not have an accurate view of myself (I’m well into my seventies!), but I don’t want to appear foolish either.  How can I tell if I have crossed the line?
Fashion Fool

Dear FF:
There is no “line” that we are aware of.  If it looks good, and you feel good, then trust us, it is good.

 WORRIED WANDERER

Dear Short Answers:
I’ve been in a great relationship for the past two years. I really love him and have never been happier. The problem is that I’ve always had a wandering eye. I’ve never cheated on him, or even come close, but I’ve cheated on guys in the past, and I do develop crushes on other guys in my life. Does this mean he’s not the right one, or is this just something I’m always going to have to deal with?
Roamiette

Dear Roamy:
Nothing to worry about — probably just an overactive hormone. You’ll probably out grow it but in the meantime, find another hobby.

 MORE BREAD FOR US!

Dear Short Answers:
Is it really possible that half the world has suddenly developed gluten allergies?
Bread Lover

Dear BL:
Yes, we have noticed this strange phenomena ourselves. And we say “let them eat rice!”

 Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t.

 Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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