Short Answers / Rolling Smoothly Into The Holidays

By Jeff Johnson And Paula Forman

Dear Short Answers:
How do you handle relatives who don’t use email?  It makes it nearly impossible to plan family get-togethers when a few “older members” take 2 or 3 days to respond to any question (whenever they get around to listening to their messages on the ancient answering machines).  Do I just forget about them in the planning stage and tell them when the event is going to be and they can just show up or not?
Thoroughly Modern Mel

Dear Mel:
Family get-togethers present many challenges and we suggest that you don’t get your knickers in a twist right out of the gate. We assume you want them all to come — old and dotty, young and irritating. That’s what makes families a joy.  Resign yourself to calling everyone several times.  Or even better, delegate it to another family member — and you concentrate on planning the party!

BUYER BEWARE

Dear Short Answers:
A close friend of mine asked me to contribute to a charity that she is very involved with.  It wasn’t something that I was personally interested in but I made a contribution as a personal favor to my friend.  Shortly after I sent the money, I heard that the charity had gone out of business due to financial problems.  I asked my friend if I could get my money back and she said that my contribution went to pay for debts that the charity had incurred.  I am beyond furious. Don’t you think my friend should pay me back the $1,000 that I sent to HER charity?
Pissed Off

Dear Pissed:
We get it, but ultimately, the choice to contribute was yours. Sorry.

JUDGE NOT

Dear Short Answers:
My next door neighbor is an artist who lost her husband about 5 years ago. She has become very close with her gardener who suddenly seems to be living with her. I am afraid that he is taking advantage of her money and her loneliness. How do I stop this from happening? I don’t think he means to harm her — but I fear he might be stealing from her. I tried to “hint” with my friend that he was trouble but she defended him and refused to discuss it. Do I wait until something horrible happens? Or do I call some authority? I am at a loss.
Would Like to Help

Dear Would Like:
There is nothing you can do that won’t cause harm or embarrassment. It may be that he is taking advantage of her – or he could be a very good friend and an appreciated distraction at a crossroads in her life.  Stay out of this.

A DICKINSIAN TALE

Dear Short Answers:
My boyfriend has been living in my home for the past three months and I just started to ask him to share some of the expenses. He gladly gave me half of what I requested and I am wondering how soon can I ask for the rest without appearing to be cheap?
Need $$

Dear $$:
Get “even” as soon as possible before inequality becomes the habit.  Remember Oliver Twist: say “more please, sir…” and nothing else. If he doesn’t get it — he doesn’t get it.

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t.

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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