Short Answers / BREATHE THROUGH THIS ONE

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

Dear Short Answers:
If people say they are coming to your home for a party but they don’t actually show up, what is the proper response?  Should I mention it to them the next time I see them or wait for them to bring it up?  I am a little concerned that they may have forgotten they were invited and are now holding a grudge because they may know that I had a big party without them.  On the other hand, I’m a little annoyed that they RSVPed “yes” and didn’t show.
Help

Dear Help:
Seriously, why are you stressing? The “proper response” when someone doesn’t show at a party (if you truly are concerned) is to call or text the next day and say “I missed you last night, is everything okay?”  As for the possibility that they are holding a grudge because they weren’t invited to an event — let it go! Most grown-ups understand that everybody isn’t invited to everything and still manage to get on with their lives.

ARE YOU KIDDING?

Dear Short Answers:
A very good friend of mine passed away a few weeks ago after a very long illness.  Her children have requested that donations be made to a specific charity in town — a charity that they seem to be interested in but not a charity that my friend cared about at all.  In fact, I think my friend rather disliked this other charity.  Should I keep this information to myself or should I let my friend’s rather wealthy circle of friends know that they should be donating to something “appropriate” and not something for her kids?
A Friend

Dear Friend:
Do as you wish with your own donation, but alerting the general public concerning your opinion of “appropriate” strikes us as entirely inappropriate and possibly malicious.

HE DOESN’T LIKE ME BACK

Dear Short Answers:
I like a guy a lot. He knows how much I like him but doesn’t like me back. He says he “likes someone” but it’s not me and he won’t tell me who it is. When we talk, he constantly asks about my ex-boyfriend (the guy I went out with a few times in hopes of forgetting the one that really matters). What am I supposed to do?

Girl Waiting

Dear Girl:
Sorry. He’s not interested. Stay Away.

TALK IS CHEAP

Dear Short Answers:
I have a small Beauty Care business in my home. I have a client who stops over all the time but not for services… she just wants to chat. How do I politely set boundaries with her?
Too Busy

Dear Too:
Tell her you’d love to chat but you have to prepare for your next client (do your taxes, order supplies).  She will get the hint.

HARRY GETS HARASSED

Dear Short Answers:
My wife keeps on talking about the same things.  She repeatedly asks the same question, over and over again. Even after we make a decision, she doesn’t believe me, and she asks me again!  Help!
Harry

Dear Harry:
If you feel that she nagging for no reason — then tell her so! Once.  However it sounds to us, that she thinks you are weak on the follow through — could that be the case?

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t.

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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