Short Answers

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

 

FOOD BULLIES

Dear Short Answers:
I recently decided to become a vegetarian. It’s been something that I’ve been considering for a long time and when friends ask me about it, I am honest about it and tell them that I just decided that it was the right thing to do both ethically and health-wise. Apparently, if you’re not a real activist about it, people don’t take you seriously. Friends still invite me for dinner and serve meat and expect me to eat it. More than one friend has said that since I ate meat for over 40 years, a little more won’t kill me. Should I start bringing my own food to dinner parties? Or just decline every invitation unless I get a guarantee that a vegetarian option will be available?
Meatless

Dear Meat:
No one should be pushed into eating or drinking anything they do not wish. On the other hand, we have said often that it is not the host’s responsibility to cater to your choices. Can’t you just skip the meat and eat the sides and salad and thank them very much?

 

WHEN LESS IS MORE

Dear Short Answers:
My husband and I have decided to get a divorce although we haven’t told anyone yet. We are still living together because we haven’t figured out all the details of our separation which is about as friendly as this kind of thing could be. Both of us feel that we should really start informing our friends but can’t quite figure out how. We don’t want to make a bigger deal of this than necessary and we certainly don’t want to have to tell the same story a hundred times. Under the circumstances, do you think that a mass email or Facebook post is acceptable?
Soon-to-Be-Ex

Dear Soon:
Email and FB does not seem like the right vehicle for this kind of info. Perhaps you should wait until you are legally separated and living apart.  Then tell a few close friends. You will be astonished at how quickly news travels.

 

STICKY WICKET

Dear Short Answers:
My uncle died a couple of weeks ago and I am his closest living relative — even though we were never close. He left a little bit of money plus a house and an insurance policy. Everything was left to me. The problem is that there are other relatives who actually were closer to him and they are very hurt that he didn’t leave them anything in his will. They are now asking me to split up the money and give them a share. I feel guilty taking all my uncle’s money since we weren’t close. But I can’t really judge the truthfulness of these other relatives’ claims. If I give some to one, I have to give to them all. And I’m sure that some are more deserving than others. Please help.
Confused and Distressed

Dear C&D:
If you care about having a relationship with these other relatives going forward then you may need to appease them in some way.  f you don’t care about them, then trust that your uncle had good reasons for doing what he did. He knew the others better than you do.

 

NOW YOU KNOW

Dear Short Answers:
Why is respect so important?
JEB

Dear JEB:
It is the basis of our social contract with one another. It is an acknowledgment of our shared humanity.

 

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t.

 

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

[livemarket market_name="KONK Life LiveMarket" limit=3 category=“” show_signup=0 show_more=0]