Short Answers
By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

WAIT THIS OUT
Dear Short Answers:
My son was caught smoking at school and was suspended for a week. First of all, getting suspended is one of the stupidest punishments ever but that’s not my question. He was smoking with a friend of his who didn’t happen to get caught. Would it be helpful if I told his friend’s parents about this? Or is this none of my business and I should just let them find out when their son is the one who gets caught?
Doesn’t Seem Fair
Dear Fair:
Fair or not, your kid is the one who got caught. Hers didn’t … at least not yet. Bide your time.

ADDICTS AND THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE THEM
Dear Short Answers:
I have a really close friend who is dating a drug addict. In fact, they are living together. My friend keeps asking me what to do and I try not to give advice because I don’t want to get into the middle of their very bad relationship. At least it seems pretty bad to me. Should I support my friend and help him dump his drug addict boyfriend? Or should I stay out of it and let them figure it out for themselves?

Concerned
Dear Concerned:
Your friend is 50% owner of this relationship. He got in in it for reasons you may not understand and he will have to find his way out — if he wants to.

MINDING HIS BUSINESS
Dear Short Answers:
I am really worried about my brother who has started to show up at family affairs with gorgeous much younger girls who I think are paid escorts (my brother’s 20-year marriage recently ended very badly).  I am worried because (1) these girls are in it just for the money (I’m sure) and (2) I think that sex with a callgirl is very risky.  Plus, he is embarrassing himself because everybody in the family is talking about this behind his back.  How do I get him to stop?
Concerned Sib
Dear CS:
The thing about paid escorts … is that they don’t just show up.  Your brother is making an active choice to employ them.  And it is his choice.  Tell him you would like to understand HIS decision — before you tell him YOUR concerns.

OTHER PEOPLE’S CHILDREN
Dear Short Answers
A good friend of mine has a 12-year child (a girl) who is a complete pain in the ass. She’s snotty, loud and annoying.  No one I know can stand to be around her but, of course, the parents take her everywhere.  How do I “nicely” tell my friend that his daughter is not “adorable” and that if she doesn’t straighten up, she should be left at home?
My Space 2
Dear MS2:
Although we completely understand your irritation with badly behaved kids in inappropriate venues, it’s a tough one to take on.  If you are brave, tell the parents that you applaud their intention to include the child in their lives, but “membership” in the adult world has responsibilities.  Or, you might say that you think she will elicit a great deal more positive feedback from the world if she went to charm school first.

YOUR ARE DOING FINE
Dear Short Answers:
If you accidentally show up an hour early for a party, what’s the right thing to do? Help the host to get things set up? Walk around the block for an hour? Help yourself to a drink and try to stay out of the way?
Just Happened
Dear Just,
Any and all of the above sound swell to us.

Life is complicated.  “Short Answers” isn’t.

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer.  A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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