Perfect For Whom?

 

By Jeff Johnson And Paula Forman

 

Dear Short Answers:
What do you do if your boyfriend is perfect in every way but he just doesn’t make you happy? I can’t find anything wrong with Brandon and my friends all love him. But I just don’t get excited to see him or really miss him when he’s not around. Do you think this is a bad omen for the future? Or maybe I’m just not the emotional type.
The Girlfriend

 

 

Dear Girlfriend:
There doesn’t need to be anything “wrong” with him to make him not right for you. You deserve to feel more.

CUT TO THE CHASE

 

 

Dear Short Answers:
My husband and I have constant disagreements over how to raise our children. Everything from when is bedtime to how much candy they can eat at Halloween. Is there a book you can recommend that can settle these arguments once and for all?
Wit’s End

 

 

Dear Wit:
Disagreements about kids is a marriage killer. It’s very wearing and creates enormous tension for everyone. Often these arguments are not really about the kids but a way for one partner to undermine the behavior of the other adult! We suggest you think this through and try to separate you from the kids. When one parent says “too much candy,” are they really saying “you eat too much candy?” Does “let the kids stay up later” really mean they don’t want to be alone with you — or afraid of confrontation? Once you sort out what is really going on, it is easier to agree on outcomes.  A counselor could really help you quicken this process.

WHEN IT ISN’T ABOUT YOU

 

 

Dear Short Answers:
I don’t get it. I’ve been in a relationship with this guy for almost 2 1/2 years. We love each other very much, but he just doesn’t want to have sex. I will be naked in bed next to him and he just rejects me over and over. What can I do to make him want me more?
Thanks for the help.
Sexually Frustrated

 

 

Dear SF:
This sounds like it’s his problem. If you want the relationship, all you can do is tell him how you feel and ask him to seek medical/psychological help.

HAVE IT YOUR OWN WAY

 

Dear Short Answers:
I’m in a big job dilemma. The place where I work has great people and a good atmosphere, but it’s not very challenging. I have been thinking about going someplace more exciting and aggressive, but my problem is that I have two young children and I want to spend time with them. I’m very well-established at my current job and have a good deal of flexibility. If I move to a new company, I will lose that and probably have to work much longer hours. How do I find the right balance of work, home and children?
Working Mom

 

 

Dear Mom:
The balance problem is everyone’s problem. Don’t assume that a new job will be more restrictive — perhaps you will work more hours and perhaps they can be from home. The modern workplace is more flexible — make that a job requirement. Even moms are entitled to work they enjoy and the time to enjoy home and family.

STRATEGIC AVOIDANCE

 

 

Dear Short Answers:
If a friend of yours has really bad table manners (I mean REALLY bad), is it better to point this out and risk losing a friend?  Or should I just avoid eating with this person if I can?
Disgusted

 

 

Dear Disgusted:
Assuming this friend is old enough to vote, we suggest go with option 2.

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t.

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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