Short Answers

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

 

A FRIEND WITH OPINIONS

Dear Short Answers: A wealthy, older man who is part of my social circle of friends, recently got married (for the THIRD time) to a woman who we all think is an escort or a prostitute or, at the very least, an opportunist who’s had a LOT of plastic surgery. We can all ignore her past or her motivations but we can’t ignore how insufferable she is to be around. All she does is talk about money in the crassest way. Are we justified in telling “Alan” not to bring her with him to parties and social events? I know they are married but I doubt it will last anyway. Speaking for All of Us

Dear Speaking: You can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your friends’ friends/spouses/escorts. Spare him your thoughts on this matter.

 

NOT ALL TRUTH NEED BE TOLD

Dear Short Answers: My best friend is having a terrible time finding a boyfriend and probably hasn’t even had a date in years. Personally, I think she needs to dress better, lose a few pounds, whiten her teeth and get a better hair style. But I’m kind of afraid to hit her with all this at once. But also worried that fixing one of those things at a time won’t help. She needs a total make-over! Do you think I’ll lose her as a friend if I am brutally honest about this? Would Like to Help

Dear Would Like: The older we get, the less we are a fan of “brutally honest.” Hardly ever works and is always costly. Understand how you feel — and try to get how she feels. Consider that perhaps she is scared — you might what to chat about THAT.

 

MONKEY IN THE MIDDLE

Dear Short Answers: What is our responsibility to our parents as they get older and require more time, more energy and more money from their children? Exhausted and Broke

Dear E&B: We hear you. This is very tough and the boundaries are different in every family. Remember that you are an adult (which is often a challenge even when dealing with elderly parents) and determine the limits of your responsibility based on a realistic assessment of your own emotional and financial resources.

 

SANTA CLAUS – NOT!

Dear Short Answers: I own a business in a small town where everybody knows everybody else. This is great for most of the year. But about this time, I can barely leave my house without someone asking me to donate to this charity or sponsor that event. It doesn’t matter what I’m doing — eating, talking, dancing — people interrupt and ask for a donation. I am dreading the next couple of months. How do I solve this so that I don’t have to hide for the rest of the year? Doing My Part

Dear Doing: When you are accosted, simply say that “of course” you have a budget for charitable giving but sadly, it has been exhausted for this year. Ask them to please send their material TO YOUR PLACE OF BUSINESS, so that you can consider it for next year.

 

A REALLY SHORT ANSWER

Dear Short Answers: I read in the newspaper this morning that you can fire someone who works for you because they are TOO attractive and you might be sexually attracted to them. Is that the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever heard? What Do You Think?

Dear What: Yes

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t.

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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