Truth Time

 

By Jeff Johnson And Paula Forman

 

Dear Short Answers:
I have 3 sisters and 2 brothers and we are all over 50. Some of my siblings have made bad financial, career and education choices in their lives and are paying the price for it now. Several of them have asked for major “loans” from me. And when I say “major” I mean over $25,000. I can afford to do it but afraid that “lending” them the money will make our sensitive relationship even worse. Is it better to lend the money and risk never getting it back or should I force them to fend for themselves?
“Richie Rich”

 

 

Dear Rich:
We are hearing that” loans” are not “loans” they are GIFTS. Now, how do you feel about it? How do your sibs feel about it? Be clear with them — and with yourself. GIFT not LOAN. Get it?

DON’T ASK, NEVER TELL

 

 

Dear Short Answers:
I know that I shouldn’t have told him, but I admitted to my boy friend that I had sex with quite a few guys before I met him. Now, he can’t stop talking about it. When we have sex, he asks me how he “rates.” When we don’t have sex, he asks me if I had enough with my previous flames. I’ve asked him several times that that part of my life is over but he won’t leave well enough alone. Do you think he’ll get over it one day or is this a warning sign that we should break up now?
Sorry

 

 

Dear Sorry:
When a new partner asks about past sex, the least information is always best. It is kind of like the “do I look fat?” question. Now that you’ve spilled the beans (and obviously made him insecure), devote a few weeks to restoring his confidence.

CENTS AND SENSIBILITY

 

 

Dear Short Answers:
My daughter is turning 5 next month which is a very important event in my family (my parents were born in Japan). We are going to Disney World to celebrate which is rather expensive for all of us but my parents want to pay for the trip. I didn’t invite my in-laws because I know that they can’t afford it, but they would come anyway and have huge bills to pay afterwards. Do you think I’m doing the right thing by not inviting them? I know they’ll be angry, but I think that’s better than going into debt just to go to a birthday party.
Anxious Mom

 

 

Dear Mom:
It doesn’t feel right not to invite your in-laws on the presumption that they cannot afford it. This is the kind of thing some people never get over. Perhaps you can find a face-saving way to spare them some of the expense … pay their airfare as an early Christmas present? Rent a house that is large enough for everyone?

JUST DON’T CALL ME LATE FOR DINNER

 

 

Dear Short Answers:
This is a tiny problem but it bugs me all the same. I am well past middle age but trying to feel as young as possible. My neighbor has three small children and she insists that they call me “Mister Albright.” I say “call me Nick” but their mother insists. I know they are trying to be polite, but don’t I have a say in what people call me?
Just Nick

 

 

Dear Nick:
Mom is trying to teach her kids how to address adults and we say “good for her!” Ask if you could split the difference with “Mr. Nick” if that suits you.

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t.

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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