Department Of Over-Think

 

By Jeff Johnson And Paula Forman

 

Dear Short Answers:
How do you tactfully invite some of your co-workers to your wedding and not others?  Should I include a message at the bottom of the invitation that says “please keep this invitation confidential?”  If I do that it sounds like we are getting married in secret.  That’s not the case, I just don’t want to offend anybody I work with (especially my bosses).
In a Tizzy

 

 

Dear Tizzy:
Relax. No need for confidentiality agreement. At about puberty, most folks have learned to accept the other fact of life: Everyone doesn’t get invited to everything.

NUN YA

 

 

Dear Short Answers:
I have a very good friend who is in a committed lesbian relationship.  They both want to have children and are both concerned about who the right biological father should be.  Apparently, they have decided that the “solution” to this problem is that each of their brothers will artificially inseminate the other partner.  This is a disaster waiting to happen.  These kids will grow up with a father who is also their uncle!!!  I respect their decision, but how do I stop this from happening?
Very Concerned

 

 

Dear VC:
We do not agree that this is necessarily a problem and it surely is not YOUR problem.  Stay out of this.

JUST CALL ME ‘LUV’

 

 

Dear Short Answers:
My boyfriend and I have lived together for almost four years and we plan to get married as soon as both of us get a job. The problem is that at least once a month he calls me by his ex-wife’s name (our names are nowhere near similar). They were married for 10 years. I trust him and know that he isn’t seeing her because she lives very, very far away. But I do think this is strange. Do you see a problem in our future?
New Girl

 

 

Dear New:
In a word, no. This is not a problem — not now — not in your future. Unless you make it one. And we say, “don’t.”

CAN’T TALK AND CHEW GUM

 

 

Dear Shorty:
After three years of an “open” relationship with a man, we have decided to be monogamously committed. We see each other less than we did in the early days but it is wonderful. However, he now seems very reluctant to express his feelings for me. He is affectionate but seemingly lost for words. He doesn’t even send me sweet, short love notes by email anymore and I can’t remember the last time he told me he loved me. Can a man feel he is losing something by telling you he cares? Can a woman be blamed as being needy for wanting to hear she is adored and appreciated? I fear this lack of admitting his love indicates other fears.
Concerned

 

 

Dear C:
Rare is the man who can love — and say so at the same time. For most, the words are a courting ritual. You are on to the tough stuff — building a life together. Congrats!

WHATEVER WORKS

 

 

Dear Short Answers:
Do you think a married couple should merge their finances or keep separate checking accounts?
Just Married

 

 

Dear Just:
In the long run, it probably doesn’t matter a bit.  However, we think it might be a good idea to keep things separate for awhile.

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t.

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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