Final Payments

 

By Jeff Johnson And Paula Forman

 

Dear Short Answers:


A friend of mine has a 10-year old pet parrot that she is devoted to. Since parrots can live to be 60 or even older, my friend asked me if I would take care of her bird if she died before the bird did. I didn’t think much about it at the time but I now realize that her request is pretty unreasonable. I don’t like birds and I don’t want one as a pet for the next 40 years! Do I cross my fingers and hope that the bird dies first? Or do I tell her that I won’t do it and jeopardize our friendship? I don’t think she has many friends so I think I’m probably her last and only resort.
Too Much to Ask

 

 

Dear Too Much:


Tell your friend that you are willing to make sure the bird has a good home (if you are willing to look for one) but that you are not comfortable with “adopting” the bird yourself.

A SORRY SITUATION

 

 

Dear Short Answers:


I read an article the other day that said you can make your life happier if you avoid all the “negative people” in your life. That made a lot of sense to me because negative people bring me down and depress me. But what do you do if the “negative people” in your life are mostly your family – including your spouse????
Help

 

 

Dear Help:


You need to make some changes. Learn to filter the input — or change the people.

NO SILVER BULLET

 

 

Dear Short Answers:


Every morning I wake up and vow that I am not going to eat too much or drink too much. But then I get hungry and have a big lunch. Then friends invite me out for a quick drink and I have 6. My motivation is super high in the morning and disappears by night. What’s the secret to discipline?
Struggling

 

 

Dear Struggling:


We have been there. And so has everyone else. In principle, you have to want the long-term outcome, more than the short-term gratification of an impulse. There is a lot of help out there if you are serious and it will only get worse if you don’t get a handle on it. There is no secret to self-discipline — but having it is the secret of a successful life.

FAMILY FEELING

 

 

Dear Short Answers:


What do you do if you really can’t stand your spouse’s family? I mean really totally absolutely hate them and can’t stand to be in the same room with them. And, believe me, I have very good reasons for this. If I tell them what I feel, they will never ask me to another family get-together and that would be just fine with me. What are the consequences?
The “Better Half”

 

 

Dear BH:


You are taking a big risk in stating your feelings. Everyone, no doubt, already suspects that you are not a fan but making an overt statement raises the ante and puts your spouse in a very awkward position. Why not just avoid as many family events as you can reasonably find excuses for — and politely bear the ones you can’t avoid?

IT’S MY ALIMONY, TOO

 

 

Dear Short Answers:


My girlfriend is getting alimony but she wants to get married. We live on that money. Why doesn’t she get it?
Common Cents

 

 

Dear Common:


Why don’t YOU get it? You both need to get off the dole and earn the money for a new life. Living off her ex is NOT a solution.

 

 

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t.

 

 

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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