Short Answers

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

 

“LIGHTEN UP” DEPARTMENT

Dear Short Answers: When is your child too old to bring into a public restroom of the opposite sex? I was in a men’s room yesterday and a man had brought his daughter with him who seemed to be about 5 or 6 years old. She was very inquisitive and asked very LOUDLY “What are all these men doing???” Would I have been within my rights to ask the man to take his daughter someplace else? Uncomfortable

Dear Uncomfortable: A little empathy please. And then a sense of humor. We can assume that there was no other reasonable choice and no person to leave her with — that’s the empathy part. And rather than ask the man to take his daughter elsewhere, you could have answered her question (that’s the humor part).

 

MUCH MALIGNED

Dear Short Answers: Do you think there should be a weight limit on airplanes? Or at least a rule that says if you’re over a certain weight, you need to buy TWO seats. I’d fed up with being scrunched in a middle seat between grotesquely overweight Americans. What can I do? Squeezed

Dear Squeezed: Although we understand your discomfort, the chronically obese are not the only folks who invade our personal space on airplanes but receive more than their fair share of  distain.  If you are really “fed up” — call the airline ahead of time and advise them of YOUR special need.

 

GOSSIP

Dear Short Answers: A couple of weeks ago, one of the guys I work with was fired. We’re not really friends but we hang out in the same places so we know a lot of the same people. He begged me not to tell anyone that he got fired because he didn’t want any of the girls to know that he wasn’t working. I didn’t mind lying for a while but now it’s getting complicated when people ask me how work is going, etc. I know that I promised but how long do I need to keep lying? It’s really starting to bother me. Sue

Dear Sue: When someone asks you “how work is going,” it is safe to assume they mean how is work going for YOU and not a status report on employment for all others — especially for someone who is “not really a friend.”  So we don’t get the “lying” part.  We suggest a meditation on how you would feel about a colleague discussing YOUR status at a bar — and go from there.

 

GOOD GETS BETTER, BAD GETS WORSE — OR IS IT THE REVERSE?

Dear Short Answers: How important is sex in a relationship? I really love this girl but the sex isn’t really all that good. Does it ever get better with time? Worried

Dear Worried: The thrall of love that some folks experience doesn’t usually last forever, but a problem in the beginning is probably better addressed directly; discussion, therapy, something.  Could be that the security of an ongoing relationship will build trust — and better sex –but who knows?

 

RE-BOOT

Dear Short Answers: What’s the good news about not having a job after 20 years? Out of Work

Dear Out: You don’t have a job– but you do have Time.  Time to take care of everything and everybody that you may have neglected in two decades.  And Time to reset and redirect.

 

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t.

 

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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