Do What You Love, But Fix What You Must

 

By Jeff Johnson And Paula Forman

 

Dear Short Answers:
Do you think that sons should be trained to do housework just like daughters are? My husband disagrees with me on this subject. He thinks that girls should learn cooking and cleaning and boys should learn auto repair and yard work. I think he’s being ridiculous but I don’t know how to talk sense into him.
P.S. Our children are only 4 and 6 years old now, but I don’t think my husband will ever change his mind.
21st Century Mom

 

 

Dear 21st:
Cooking, cleaning, yard work and use of tools are skills required of all humans. The idea that essential life skills are designated by gender enfeebles all. We suggest you share that notion with him. A man who can’t feed himself, or sew on a button or clean his cave is a Neanderthal and unlikely to fare well in this world. Similarly, a woman who cannot support herself, manage her finances and use a hammer is a potential victim of whomever agrees to fetch for her. The idea that women cook and clean and men mow the lawn went out with the last century.

 

NUNYA

 

 

Dear Short Answers:
A friend of mine was recently laid off from work and has been bemoaning the state of her finances. I’m not rich, but I did lend her $500. I was walking by a very expensive restaurant yesterday and saw her coming out (I didn’t see who she was with). Is there a polite way to ask her if she is using the money I lent to her for fancy meals? I would be furious if she was, but I’d like to know the answer.
Preparing to Be Pissed Off

 

 

Dear Preparing:
Yours was a generous gesture. Don’t ruin it. Your jurisdiction over the money was over when you handed it to her. Sorry.

HABITS AND PRACTICES

 

 

Dear Short Answers:
My soon-to-be-wife converted to Catholicism when she married her second husband and he insisted that they raise their children in the Catholic Church. Now that we are getting married, she is insisting that I convert. Since we are much too old to have children, I don’t really see the point. Some days, I think I should just do it to make her happy. Then others, I think I’m being dishonest because I wouldn’t really go to church anyway (I’m agnostic). This whole religion thing doesn’t make much difference to me one way or the other. Is this the kind of thing a person should do just to make their future spouse happy?
Reluctant Convert

 

 

Dear Reluctant:
This isn’t a short answer. It’s a dialogue, with yourself, your future spouse and possibly the clergy.

 

PAVLOV’S DOGS

 

 

Dear Short Answers:
My husband really knows how to push my buttons. Criticizing my family, for example. How do I stop myself from over-reacting — or reacting at all.
Pushed
Dear Pushed,
We are all like dogs – the more you reward the behavior, the more they do it. Ignore him and it will stop being “fun” for him. If that doesn’t work, punishment is required.

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t.

 

 

 

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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