Sometimes, Mama Knows Best

 

By Jeff Johnson And Paula Forman

 

Dear Short Answers:

 

My mother is determined to find a “suitable” wife for me.  She sets me up on dates with daughters of her friends, girls from church (which I don’t attend), and (I think) random people she meets on the street.  My mother has surprisingly good taste and must be pretty persuasive because some of these girls are smart, gorgeous and just might be perfect for me.  But every date I go on, it just feels like my mother is in the room and that creeps me out.  How do I avoid the overwhelming feeling that this is a blind date set up by my mother and just let things happen as they normally would?

 

Interested, But

 

 

 

Dear Interested:

 

Maybe she “gets you.”  Think of it as online dating with concierge service.

 

GET A GRIP, GIRLS

 

 

 

Dear Short Answers:

 

There is a woman in town who is a stay-at-home mom with 3 children. Every year (actually, 3 times a year), she throws the most lavish birthday parties for her kids. It makes the rest of us moms look like slackers. Every year, our own kids ask why they can’t have a party like her kids do. How do we convince her that her parties are over-the-top and making us all look bad?

 

 

 

The Rest of Us

 

 

 

 

Dear The Rest:

 

You don’t convince her — you convince YOU that whatever you are doing is fine. This is only the first time that your kids will want what some other kid has. There are exactly a million iterations of this situation. The answer is all about you — not the other kid. Or the other mother.

 

 

 

SHARING THE PAIN

 

 

 

Dear Short Answers:

 

Should I tell my friend I’m depressed?

 

 

 

Don’t Want to Be a Downer

 

 

 

Dear Downer:

 

Of course you should talk about it! Your friend might even be helpful! And if your friend says your problem is above their pay grade — seek   professional.

 

 

 

LET IT BE

 

 

 

Dear Short Answers:

 

I think I’ve lost a friend. We worked together for 20 years and after she left the company, no matter what, we would get together for dinner around our birthdays each year and an occasional get together. Over the last two months, I have reached out four times to set up plans for a birthday dinner and received no response… In my most recent e-mail I did share that I hope I did nothing to offend her and would like to see her. No response. She was not my best friend, but a person whose company I enjoyed and I thought, perhaps mistakenly, that we both accepted what our relationship was. I guess we’re done now and it’s left me sad and feeling like I’m at fault. I need some objectivity here and appreciate your insight. Thanks.

 

 

 

Missing Her

 

 

 

 

Dear Missing:

 

This does not sound like it has anything to do with you. Reciprocity is very helpful in the balancing act called friendship. We hope you will hear from her in due time.

 

 

 

RAINY DAY ACTIVITY

 

 

Dear Short Answers:

 

My husband is grumpy because we are on an expensive beach holiday and it’s raining. What should I do?

 

 

 

Grumpy Too

 

 

 

 

Dear G2:

 

Try a little “tenderness” to warm up the day.

 

 

 

 

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t.

 

 

 

 

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

 

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