Short Answers/ Diplomacy Can Avoid War

 

By Jeff Johnson And Paula Forman

 

Dear Short Answers:
My husband has started to take this whole environmental consciousness thing too far. He refused to use plastic wrap. He saves every scrap of aluminum foil and reuses it dozens of times (until I throw it out because it’s gotten go gross). He flushes the toilet ONCE A DAY (it’s disgusting). He shuts off every light in the house except one — but I still feel like I’m sitting in the dark. I don’t want to discourage his good intentions — but enough is enough!!!
Help Me

 

 

 

Dear Help:
These decisions can’t be unilateral. Sit down and have a respectful negotiation.

 

 

STAY AWAY FROM DRUNKS

 

 

Dear Short Answers:
A couple years ago, I had a stalker. I took him to court. I didn’t win the court case so I don’t have a restraining order but he still left me alone after that. He never would do anything to physically harm me, but he would mentally harass me. Fast forward to now.  We still have mutual friends which is hard and recently I went to a party and he was there. My very drunk friend made me talk to him just to clear the air so I could stay. I kept refusing but they said I should just talk to him to make the situation neutral and less uncomfortable. He was apologetic and said he had changed. They even made me shake his hand — I was uncomfortable to say the least, but felt like I had no choice.  When I was leaving he ran outside just to say goodbye to me. The next day I woke up hung-over and full of regret. I don’t want the harassing to start all over again. What should I do?
So Not Interested

 

Dear So:
Your discomfort seems to fuel everyone’s attention.  Practice “aloof” — and sobriety. It is surprisingly helpful in difficult situations.

 

 

NARCISSUS DID NOT FARE WELL

 

Dear Short Answers:
My girl friend has become obsessed about the way she looks and I think it might be the end of our relationship. Every day she asks me questions about her hair and her dress and her make-up and honestly, I don’t know and I don’t care. I think my girl friend is gorgeous but I don’t notice when she gets a new haircut or changes the color of her fingernail polish. And if I don’t answer correctly, I’m in trouble. “Do you notice anything different about me?” Well, no – but that’s not the right answer!!! I think she’s testing me and when I guess, it’s even worse (because I’m always wrong). What is the right answer to that question? Or better yet, how do I make her stop?
Love Her But…

 

 

 

Dear Love Her:
Every woman would tell you she would like to be noticed (appreciated) more but this sounds off the chart. Tell her you love her. Tell her what you mean by love — and tell her to buy a big mirror for the other stuff.

 

 

TIME WILL TELL

 

Dear Short Answers:
How do I know when a relationship is really over?  I keep hoping that my boyfriend will realize what he lost and come back to me.  I’m just not sure how long I should keep the door open before I hook up with somebody else.
Still Love Him

 

 

 

Dear Still:
Well, we think you should wait longer than two weeks, but after that … let your heart and mind be open to new possibilities.

 

 

Life is complicated.  “Short Answers” isn’t.

 

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer.  A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

[livemarket market_name="KONK Life LiveMarket" limit=3 category=“” show_signup=0 show_more=0]