Short Answers

By Jeff Johnson And Paula Forman

Dear Short Answers:

 

I am engaged to be married to a man I dearly love. Every thing is perfect except for a few little things. He has a few bad habits that I am trying very hard to break him of. He has promised to quit doing them (like smoking) once we get married and has said that it will be his “wedding present to me.” Should I believe him or insist that he break these habits BEFORE we tie the knot? — Bride 2 Be

 

 

Dear B2B:

This seems like a dumb game. Of course we don’t support smoking (who does?) but bargaining over timing obscures the issue.

 

 

LESSON LEARNED?

 

 

Dear Short Answers:

I know that I shouldn’t have done it, but I sent some nude photos of myself to my boyfriend who posted them on Tumblr and almost everybody I know has seen them. Should I just ignore this humiliating experience and hope that it blows over. Or should I post an explanation on Facebook? I’m not sure what good it would do but I feel I have to do something. — Really Embarrassed

 

 

Dear RE:

Forget it. The less said the better.

 

 

DIFFERENT STROKES

 

 

Dear Short Answers:

By the time you answer this question, it will be too late to do anything about my situation. But it may come up again so I thought I would ask. An old friend passed away after a long illness. I knew him well and know for a fact that he was not the least bit religious. If anything, he was anti-religious. But the funeral was held in a church just the same. It made me uncomfortable to go to a religious service for a person who would have hated it, so I skipped the service and went to the reception. My wife thought I was being rude and selfish and that funerals are for the living and I should have gone to show my friendship with this man. I thought that I did the morally correct thing. Was I right? — Wondering Still

 

 

Dear WS:

We think you did the right thing for you. You were not rude nor selfish — nor was your wife who attended for her own reasons.

 

 

THE TIMELINE OF LOVE HAS ROUNDABOUTS

 

 

Dear Short Answers:

I just got a call today from a woman I don’t know very well to tell me that she and my ex of six years were getting intimate — and was it all right with me? I was impressed with her candor and heard her concern — she clearly wanted confirmation firsthand that he and I are truly finished. I really am relieved to hear he has, in fact, moved on and his heart is focused elsewhere. But for her to need to ask me makes me wonder. Why is she asking? — Happy Now

 

 

 

Dear Happy:

Why do you think she is asking? We all know — that she suspects she is the rebound. She may be correct.

 

 

LIFE IS WORTHWHILE IF YOU GIVE IT A GO

 

 

Dear Short Answers:

I am going on my first date tomorrow since I split with an ex of many years. I am filled with hope — and tidings of comfort and joy. Am I crazy? — A Believer

 

 

Dear believer:

Yep. You are crazy and wonderful, and you are, in our opinion, likely to be very happy. We are happy for you no matter how it turns out.

 

 

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t.

 

 

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KONK Life.

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