Theater Review / Dark pandemic humor is served at Red Barn’s ‘Quarantine for Two‘

BY TERRY SCHMIDA

KONK LIFE THEATER EDITOR

So you think you’ve had a tough time during the pandemic, huh?

Fed up with trying to locate toilet paper; negotiate conversations with extremists of one kind or another; or arrange just about any type of construction work on your house?

You’re not alone.

Could there even be those among us coming so far unglued by Covid that hiring their regular delivery man to bump off their better half has actually started to seem a reasonable option? If this dark premise, and all the the Fellini-like zaniness which must necessarily follow sounds as funny to you as it does to me, you’d do well to check out “Quarantine for Two,” now playing at the Red Barn Theatre.

Fresh from the success of the season-opening “Cats Talk Back,” presented in the Barn’s outdoor courtyard, the theater now welcomes patrons back inside to the main stage – for the first time in 2 years – for the premiere of the timely “Quarantine,” penned by noted Key West writer/producer, Hy Conrad, creator of the TV series, “Monk.”

And what a tangled web Conrad’s characters weave!

Take married couple Oscar and Ruth Ebersol (please!), ably portrayed by veteran local thespians David Black and Mimi McDonald, respectively. It’s May, 2020, early in the pandemic. Vaxxes aren’t yet available, and the Ebersols, like their friends, are freaking out, but remain convinced Covid will be over with in a couple of months.

Worst of all, the near radically ordinary Ebersols have discovered that without the distraction of their daughter Robin, (who lives elsewhere), and Oscar’s former job, (which he’s retired from,) they’re getting to rediscover each other again – and they don’t like what they’re finding!

This marital breakdown has gotten so bad that even Robin, charmingly played by Jessica Miano Kruel, and the Ebersols’ many Zoom chat friends are beginning to suspect the couple are faring worse than most during this most trying of times.

Divorce has been discussed – and discarded – as an option, due to more difficulties with Covid.

But premeditated murder? After a while it all starts to seem like kind of a good idea to Oscar, whose purchases of rat poison and the like have alerted his sharp-eyed deliveryman Marty, (played by Rhett Kalman,) to his evil intentions. Marty offers his services as a hit man, and a deal is struck. But this is the slightly deranged Marty’s first attempt at a “hit,” and his hilarious failure to accomplish his task soon brings him a new customer – Ruth Ebersol.

Will Marty finally succeed in carrying out his “contract” with either spouse? Or will they finally see the light in time, and remember what drew them together in the first place? It’s not like there’s not plenty of advice to draw on: A large screen on stage is a clever device used to portray Zoom parties where the Ebersols’ friends, played by Hy Conrad himself, Jeff Johnson, Kathy Russ, Rosi Ware, and Jeff Ware, turn up periodically like a Greek chorus.
Whining over wine, the Ebersol friends fret about the exaggerated precautions they’re taking, the disinfecting of mail, the scrubbing down of deliveries, the washing of groceries; and even the unlikelihood of people in warmer areas to catch it.

Pulling the whole production together is director, Joy Hawkins, who draws just the right note of energy from these exceptional players, while the simple but effective set, designed by Jack and Gary McDonald works well with the production.

Lord knows what more we’ll all have to deal with before the Covid pandemic is finished. Fortify yourself for the future with locally made and produced humor!

 “Quarantine for Two” plays through March 12 at the Red Barn Theatre, located behind the Key West Woman’s Club, 319 Duval St. There is some salty language in the production.

For tickets, or more information, visit https://redbarntheatre.com/

(Oh, and the Red Barn takes your safety seriously, so don’t even think of coming in without a proof of vaccination card and a face mask.)

Terry Schmida is a Key West true crime writer, and a Realtor with Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Knight & Gardner Realty. Contact him at 305-896-3387 or email  [email protected]

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