Local observation / NOW~
By Christina Oxenberg
She operated with each breath she took. Her lies and her fantasies were one and she’d been weaving them for years so the Bayeux Tapestry was near completion, or so it seemed, if you didn’t get up too close.
Up close and in the daylight the lies just fall apart.
I’m so glad my eyesight is deteriorating, and I love it when I am confronted by a mirror under a soft light, say violet, and I look lovely. Not even angry. And I probably am angry.
But I can’t rely on someone else’s myopia being synchronized to mine and thereby shielded from the encroaching ugliness of decline.
I spent my first fifty years expecting to die a humiliating untimely death, but despite even pushing my luck repeatedly to the point of chanting for a descent when the plane hits turbulence (in my head of course, not out loud). But after fifty it’s all a joke.
To even bother with suicide is a grand grandiosity. Death is on your front freakin’ door so why waste your own bullet?
No I don’t believe ‘everything happens for a reason’! It happened because it happened. Sorry bipeds, the truth is always boring, thus disappointing, because you want a fireworks display. And that is not reality.
Reality is moments of joy and or panic linked by a time lapsed chain made of links that will end in one link. Overnight. You won’t care. You won’t wake up one day. You won’t know a thing. Your friends, or with whom you share a drop of blood, they will go through their throes.
I see everyone dropping all around. ’Tis the age, ’tis the season of your lifespan. Everyone reacts with shock and in mourning they make no time for the living.
But without her champion, her greatest fan, she would begin to crumble, it was slow and agonizingly unstoppable but fate was coming for her. To expose the lies. And she had no one left to hide behind.
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