Key West Lou / Don’t Shave Your Privates While Driving

This is my last change of pace blog till sometime after the election.

I wrote the blog early on in my “blog career.” Ten years ago in 2010. One of the first written.

The blog was humorous then. Humorous now. A strange happening.

Title: DON’T SHAVE YOUR PRIVATES WHILE DRIVING

Don’t Shave Your Privates While Driving

Truth is stranger than fiction. The following proves it.

Megan Mariah Barnes was driving south on US 1 in the area of Cudjoe Key on March 2, 2010. Her destination was Key West. Her purpose to meet her boyfriend.

Megan was a 37 year old divorcee. Her former husband was riding in the passenger seat with her.

Megan was apparently preparing for her date. She was shaving her privates. Her bikini area.

Her former husband was assisting with the driving. He was steering. Megan was operating the foot pedals.

The two were not operating the vehicle in sync. They rear ended another vehicle.

No drinking was involved.

Many states prohibit driving and the use of cell phones. Some forbid texting while driving. All say don’t drink and drive.

Soon in the State of Florida, I anticipate a law prohibiting the shaving of one’s privates while driving!

That is how laws come about. Some odd ball thing happens that has not occurred in the past and legislators are quick to pass a law to cover the situation. Always after the barn door has been left open and the cow is out.

The media went bonkers with this story. It was on all the major TV news and talk shows.

Morning Joe is an example. Willy could not stop laughing. Joe yelled. Mika almost had a heart attack. Pat Buchanan, in his fatherly manner, calmly said…..let’s move on.

Which brings us to the more philosophical question of the day. What about sex while driving?

You may not believe what I am about to share with you.

The issue came up six years ago in Germany. The court ruled sex while driving is perfectly legal. So is masturbation. And shaving and changing a radio station. The German courts consistently rule that the right to engage in sex while driving is constitutionally protected.

German decisions rely not only on their own precedent, but also Russian cases. Apparently sex while driving is a popular practice in Russia. There, too, it is constitutionally protected.

The Germans and Russians decide the issue on the side of individual rights. Whereas, here in the United States the concern is for the public good. Public safety.

So…..if your preference is sex while driving, I suggest you move to Germany or Russia. Sex while driving in the United States is a no no.

And probably will remain so!

EPILOGUE

Florida never passed a law covering the situation. I suspect for 2 reasons.

First, anything “abnormal” is generally pursued in most states under “reckless driving.” Other states have adopted laws throwing such situations under “distracted driving.”

Florida does not have a distracted driving law. It does have a reckless driving law, however.

Which brings us to the second reason a new law was not considered.

Megan had her own special track record.

She had previously been convicted of driving under the influence and driving with a suspended license.

In this instance, Megan was charged with driv with reckless driving, driving with a revoked license, leaving the scene of an accident with injuries, and driving with no insurance.

There was enough to “get her” with the new charges.

It appears Megan may have lacked normal understanding. The police officer who made the arrest asked her why she didn’t hit her brakes when she saw the SUV. Her response, “I told you, I was shaving.

Enjoy your day!

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