Pride Week season, June 8-12, 2016

Being Jane – Jane Ireland

When young, I wouldn’t dare say anything about femininity. Even with loving parents and five brothers/sisters, I stuttered horribly while dying a thousand deaths. With the lisp, I was too frightened to look anyone in the eye. Many mornings the sun would rise before I’d fall asleep, feeling all night my heart pounding out of my chest. I became sneaky back in the 50’s, wearing my young sister’s pink plastic pants and later, my big sister’s lingerie.

I loved baseball and kept the Reds’ box scores in a scrapbook. As 1969-70 sports editor of our high school newspaper, my Jim Shorts column was with a sketch of a guy in gym shorts.

I like serving people. I began working as a busboy at 15 at a fine Cincinnati steakhouse. I stayed in the business, eventually waiting tables at the famed Maisonette, where I first wore panty hose. It was scary but so exciting.

Thanks to Wendy Carlos, Jan Morris, Dr. Rene Richards and Dr. Harry Benjamin’s Standards of Care, I self-diagnosed. Being transgender then was a wilderness experience (still is for too many). Failing suicide, I moved to San Francisco, planning surgery at Palo Alto. Instead, I ran out of money and joined the Moonies, who made me quit taking hormones and wearing women’s clothing.

I escaped in the late 70s, became a Christian and met Melissa and shared my story. We married and had three world-changers: Benjamin, Rebecca and Gabriel (who loves Key West and it’s reciprocal). Just as phenomenal is daughter Laura, who’s older and would often babysit her sibs.

Volunteering for small, independent missions and our home church, I worked closely with a half-dozen independent ministries. This took us to Tulsa in 2001 for nine adventurous years including a dairy goat farm. The gender identity struggle magnified, stressing our bliss. During a church meeting early 2009, I had my green light. Melissa grieved the loss of the man she married but continued alongside as friend and first mentor.

I told my grown children but no one else until disclosing my intentions that fall to ~20 spiritual leaders, who judged and ostracized. They’re missing my river! Dr. Laura Arrowsmith and other Tulsa girlfriends mentored me in those pre-op days. Via Dr. Laura’s weekly trans group meetings, I met Dr. Marci Bowers, my GRS surgeon nearly five years ago. My family is lovingly in my life and I had closure with my mom before she passed.

A generous surgery benefactor invited me to Key West to heal and spread my wings. How lovely to be immersed in its history, nature, art, music, passion, joy, uniqueness, creativity and freedom! I still enjoy these things while working hard carving out my independence in Key West. Such excitement! Nightly I build an outfit to present the next day in the best movie theater anywhere! It’s an honor and privilege to be a woman and be able to bless others. I’m the membership director of Tropic Cinema – four years this month. The job challenge, including assisting my best boss ever – Matthew Helmerich, captures my heart and energy.

Being Jane, having passed from the albatross to true self, I often cry – “It would’ve been enough, Lord!” But he continues to bless. Each authentic day.

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