Sailors May Get ‘That Sinking Feeling’ at the 33rd Annual Schooner Wharf Bar Minimal Regatta

The costumes and fun at a previous Schooner Wharf Minimal Regatta Awards Ceremony

Some get “that sinking feeling” before leaving the dock, while others capsize somewhere along the course. A hardy few actually manage to stay afloat — but whatever the fate of their favorites, spectators can anticipate silliness and seafaring spirit Sunday, May 26, during the annual Schooner Wharf Minimal Regatta.

Intrepid teams in the wacky regatta are handicapped by the rules: their vessels must be constructed of nothing but a single sheet of 4-by-8-foot plywood, two 8-foot-long two-by-fours, a 60-yard roll of duct tape and a pound of fasteners.

Yet with minimal materials and maximum inventiveness, they typically “make a splash” in front of hundreds of Memorial Day weekend revelers gathered to watch the spectacle.

The regatta is to take place in the Key West Historic Seaport off the Schooner Wharf Bar, in the Key West Bight, 202 William St., with a vessel inspection at 12:30 p.m. Sunday with the first heat around 1:30 p.m.

Teams are charged with keeping their boats afloat long enough to complete the course. Up to six members are allowed per team, and at least one must stay aboard the vessel throughout the regatta.

While calking and adhesives are forbidden, epoxy paint is permitted to decorate the creative craft. Themed entries and costumes are encouraged.

Some teams’ clever designs far outweigh their seaworthiness. Standouts in recent regattas have included a tiny tiki hut that overturned mid-course and an unsteady entry whose captain, costumed as a park ranger, went down with his ship.

The Farris family has entered as Batman and the Joker, Brom Stroker’s Dracula as well as Star Trek’s Mr. Spoc. The creativity of these shipwrights have led to the Addams Family, the cast of Gilligan’s Island and Aliens on a vessel built like a saucer have making an appearance at this popular maritime event!

Numerous prizes are to be awarded in categories including fastest boats in the kayak/canoe and open design divisions, best paint jobs, most creative designs, sportsmanship and best costumed entries. In addition, organizers plan to present the dreaded “sinker” awards to the hapless teams unable to stay above water.

The regatta’s revelry also includes live music and a Memorial Day barbecue, with the fun continuing into the night with live music, icy cold beveages and great galley fare.

The “minimal” entry fee is $20 per boat team, with fees to benefit our local American Legion Post 28.

Event information and registration: schoonerwharf.com Check out previous entries on their website and facebook pages. Call 305-292-9520 for additional info.

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