By Timothy Weaver, Ph.D.

These creatures have a great thing going. The ants feed on the aphids’ “honeydew” secretions. In turn, the ants protect the aphids from predators such as ladybugs. The ants have learned to stroke the aphids’ abdomens to make them secrete the tasty fluid. So fond of the nutrients they receive, ants will transport aphids to new locations to protect them. 

Turning to politics, the Republicans have managed a strange and symbiotic relationship with the working class in America. The Republican agenda is to reward the rich for their donations to keep Republicans in office, but the Republicans can only stay in office with the votes of the working class. The votes are the “honeydew” secreted by aphids to keep the ants happy. How do the Republicans reward the working class for their honey dew votes? 

The Republicans protect the working classes from dreaded predators who threaten to convert their children into gays, lesbians, queers, transgender persons, and bisexual abominations. The Republicans protect the working classes from abortionists, the ungodly, pedophiles, and the demanding and undeserving poor who suck their taxes like newborn goats. 

These lazy no-goods are reaping benefits handed out like popsicles by Democrats. Make them work! The Republicans protect the working class from another threatening predator–immigrants. These rapists, murderers, drug dealers, and thieves somehow manage to take working-class jobs and drive down wages. The Republicans have put up fundamental protections at the border, practically shut it down, and are steadily proceeding to eject the dread scourge from our country. El Salvador is too cushy for these people. Send them to the Sudan. 

The Republicans stroke their abdomens by constant race-baiting, spreading fear among the working classes that these predators are real and the damage they do is unalterable. The MAGA propaganda machine churns out fear messages by the second–“Jews will not replace us.” Democrats, funded by George Soros, have created a worldwide network of pedophiles, and migrants who eat cats. Democrats look the other way while Antifa destroys your property; your only protection is guns; guns don’t kill people…people kill people; the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun. Democrats want to take away your guns and defund the police, leaving you vulnerable to all of these predators; Democrats want books in libraries that are ruining our children; Republicans are leading the charge to cleanse libraries of profanity, content embarrassing to whites, and lies about LGBTQ+ people being OK. 

In short, the Republicans respond with protections and safeguards. They are fighting tooth and nail to remove every legal safeguard and provision from these undeserving parasites. No more toilets that comply with gender preference, no more gay partner benefits, and no more gay marriage itself. Republicans are doing all they can to protect the working class from the lazy lower classes, using up tax money for abortions that constitute nothing more than birth control. 

Racist dog whistles have become foghorns to warn against the black and brown races overtaking whites, granting them voting rights advantages when they aren’t smart enough to get IDs. 

The Republicans deliver, and the working classes cheer, and secrete votes.

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